Are They Really World-renown Important or Just Narcissistic?

Is it a coincidence that several magazine and web articles about parents raising narcissistic children have been published at the same time that I’m experiencing problems with conference attendees? The majority feel they are “entitled” to special treatment. Having managed conferences for over 30 years, I always have a few at every event who feel they deserve some special consideration; whether it is not adhering to deadlines or not paying a required registration fee or just showing up and expecting us to “know who they are”.

 As I’m working on the approaching conferences, I’m encountering an enormous increase in these narcissists and can’t wait to meet them at the conferences. I’m running my little research project and want to see what age range the majority of them are. Recent encounters range from telephone voicemails saying “Hi, I’m xxxxx (first name only) and just wanted to let you know I’ve changed my mind” to “I need to have an extension on my deadline, or I can’t get the onsite registration to work” or even better “your website isn’t working”. OK – after numerous years you’d think that I would have developed ESP but as I’m working on multiple events with thousands of people registering am I being unreasonable to expect  more information? A good example is, “I’m calling about XYZ conference, and my name is XYZ and I’m having a problem so could you please help me?”

 Recently I had a young woman call because she had missed a deadline that had been posted on the website since January. She was immediately belligerent and had such a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement that she argued for a very long time that she didn’t know about the deadline. Interesting, since she had been in touch with a committee member for weeks. She wanted to apply for a special group rate that would give her a considerable discount, but she didn't feel either the application or deadline rules applied to her. She let me know that she had booked her flight and her room and now expected be to allowed that special group low conference fee. Of course, it was MY fault that I didn’t let her know about the deadline. When I reminded her about the email that had been sent out clearly stating the deadline. She also swore the email she received didn’t give the deadline, and it didn’t arrive until a couple of days following its sent date.

Some emails that I get are even more absurd than the phone messages. Because people are so accustomed to texting, they don’t put any identifying information into their email. A recent example: “I saw your conference on the web and thought it might be of interest to us” signed by first name only.

We can probably all agree that we’ve encountered a narcissist here and there in work or other situations but are we developing into a whole nation (or world) of narcissists who live in their little bubble? For those of us who have to deal with these narcissists daily, I can tell you, it takes a lot of time to figure out what they are trying to convey and to get back to them to confirm that I have it correct. Heaven knows if I get it wrong (wrong according to what the narcissist was thinking), I must be the stupidest person in the world.

Even my personal trainer, a teacher in a middle school, says she has noticed in the past few years there are a lot more narcissistic middle school students. The ones who are constantly being fueled by their helicopter mothers are the worst. She also coaches a girls’ sports team and says it’s worse for the girls who are in athletics because every girl has to be the team captain. She recently experienced a problem with both a student and mother when last year’s team captain was replaced by a new student because she was better athletically. Last year’s captain and mother refused to accept that the new girl could possibly be better. The behavior of the past captain’s mother has even gone as far as to try to destroy the football field because the new girl’s dad is the football coach.

The next couple of months will be interesting ones as I run up against these people in the crazy “zoo-like” on-site atmosphere. I’m ready to run my little research project. The names of the narcissists are already ingrained in my brain, and I can predict they will continue to be “problem children” onsite. I’ll just smile and stick to my guns on the rules and guidelines and give them a taste of the real world where you don’t always get what you want. Little do they know (or care because I’m not within their little bubble) that they are a part of my research!

I hope you don't encounter too many narcissists in your daily lives but if you do, remember:

 

Absolutely an Age Perfect Blonde!

Almost all of you know me as always being blonde, even my husband, Steve, has only ever known me as blonde. But almost all of you also know that my color comes from a bottle. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to become a blonde, although the ad “blondes have more fun” was popular at the time. My hair lightened over the course of one summer when my son was on a swim team, and we spent every weekend at a pool while he participated in competitions. By the end of the summer, I’d become a blonde but it was more of a strawberry blonde. While happy to have my hair lighter, I wasn’t entirely happy with the reddish tone so I decided to turn to coloring my hair a more golden blonde.

Over the course of all these years, I’ve tried different brands and different methods and have even done the highlighting and lowlights at home. While living in the UK, I had a wonderful colorist who gave me the most perfect color but I couldn’t afford to move her to the US with me, so I went back to coloring my hair at home.  Since I have naturally curly hair, from time to time, I’ve let my hair curl and do its own thing. For the most part, I’ve blown it out and straightened it but I’m always up for a different look.

I know that my hair is probably quite gray by now as I’m noticing that the brand of color that I was using wasn’t covering the temple area very well. I’m not ready to give up my blonde, so I jumped at the chance when L’Oreal asked me to test L’Oreal Excellence Age Perfect (see my disclaimer below). It promised to give my hair a more layered tone so that I’d have natural looking high and low lights without damaging my hair. It also promised to cover my gray completely.

L’Oreal Excellence AgePerfect has been developed to adapt to gray hair differently from your natural color – you know, those hairs that seem to have a mind of their own.

I received my box of color and couldn’t wait to try it, but I’d just colored my hair so had to wait for a month. When it came time to try out the new product, I read and followed the instructions thoroughly (not something that I usually do). It was incredibly simple and easy, especially if you’ve already had some experience with coloring your hair. In only 30 minutes, the product had worked its magic, I rinsed and was finished. It was difficult to tell how the color turned out when it was dripping wet, so I had to wait for it to dry. After coloring, I tend to let my hair air-dry to protect it from the heat, so my wait was longer than normal.

Once dry, I noticed that my hair had absorbed the color evenly, even the stubborn gray hairs, and it did have highlights that weren’t there before. My hair is shiny and healthy looking and incredibly soft. I’ve colored my hair for years but am extremely happy to have found a product that is specifically for gray hair.

For those of you who prefer to color your hair at home, I’d highly recommend trying L’Oreal Excellence Age Perfect. It’s available in all sorts of convenient places such as CVS, Walgreens and even in some major supermarkets. As the name implies – it’s “age perfect”!

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes 

because I know that I'm not dumb. 

I also know I'm not blonde."   Dolly Parton

[Disclaimer: I am participating in a Vibrant Influencer network campaign for L’Oreal Excellence Age Perfect. This is a sponsored post; the opinions expressed are my own. I only accept sponsorships from brands and causes I love.]

 

San Francisco Full of Clichés But Still Magical

Visiting the seals at Pier 39

San Francisco is one of the most eclectic cities in the US, and it’s packed with far too many breathtaking things to see in only 4 days. Steve was attending a conference so I was on my own to explore.  However, we did have Monday morning together. Both of us have been several times before so it was fairly easy to narrow down our morning and my adventures for the rest of the week.

The first thing we did was grab a packed cable car, so we had to hang onto the outside, but that’s truly the best way of experiencing a cable car ride. You can see more because you don’t have anyone in front of you. We wandered the Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39 area and, of course, visited the seals, which is a must. Our stroll through Ghiradelli Square didn’t tempt us too much because we each had only one bite sized chocolate.

Main street of Chinatown

On previous visits, I had wandered the streets of Chinatown but never did much more than a tiny bit of shopping and hurrying past the dead ducks and other fowl hanging in the windows. This time I took a walking tour of Chinatown. Linda, our tour guide, is Chinese American and had grown up there, so she was able to give us an inside track on day-to-day experiences. 

One of the highlights was a visit to a Chinese pharmacy to see where the shelves were stocked with all sorts of weird and wonderful ingredients used in numerous remedies. A pre-packaged soup mix that Linda pointed out had a main ingredient of dried cicadas; we could see them through the clear wrapper. Oh, and later, when we visited the market there were basins of live frogs and turtles waiting to be purchased for dinner!!

Hand made fortune cookies

Another favorite was the fortune cookie factory, which I would never have found on my own. We had to walk down a very nondescript alley to find this tiny little space with only a small sign out front. While we were there, there was only one woman who was folding hot circles of pastry, inserting the fortunes and then folding them into the cookie shapes that everyone recognizes. We got to taste samples and also got to read some of the fortunes, including some of the “adult” fortunes (printed on pink paper).

After an enjoyable and educational tea-tasting, I walked to Old St. Mary’s Cathedral for a free noontime concert. I found it by accident, and it was an hour filled with stunning violin, cello and piano music. The performers, from Scotland and Russia, were so professional; I would gladly have paid $50 or more for a ticket.

Several hours were spent that afternoon wandering the Asian Art Museum. There were so many things to see, but my main purpose was to see the world’s oldest dated Buddha. It can be dated back to 338 according to an inscription at the base.  There are older Buddha statues, and I’m sure that Steve and I have seen plenty in China and Japan, but this one is actually dated!

Wednesday dawned foggy and gray, but I had a day trip planned to Sonoma and Napa Valley so I didn’t care what the weather was like. Our coach driver acted as a tour guide on the way to the first winery, and as we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, he filled every moment with facts about it. It was good to be reminded of its’ history, and even though it’s one of the most photographed bridges in the world; I didn’t take a photo this trip.

Vines soaking up the sun

We visited 3 different wineries, not only learning about the history of wine making in California but learning about the different methods of growing the grapes. The Nicholson Ranch Winery was our first stop, and the fog was just starting to lift so that we could see the vines off in the distance. After a brief history and a little tour of this family-owned artisan winery, our first tasting began at 10.30.

Our second stop was the Madonna Estate where we learned about their organically grown grapes and the “dry farming” of the vines,  meaning they only rely on the natural rainfall to water the vines. The winery combines traditional and modern techniques of making the wine, so we saw both oak and steel barrels.

Oak barrels

The whites

After the two morning tastings, we stopped at a lovely little town for some much-needed lunch. Eating lunch while sitting  in the warm 70° F sunshine was perfect but soon we were headed to another winery. Our third and final winery for the day was the Sutter Home Winery. Most of us already knew about Sutter Home’s White Zinfandel but we also learned that it was discovered by accident when one of the family members was told to “not waste a drop”. Some of the juice from their premium Zinfandel red wine was bled off before fermentation. This juice was fermented separately into a dry almost white wine. The winery was established in the 1800’s, and it has become the second largest, independent family-run winery in the US.

Trees reach the sky!

Thursday dawned foggy and gray again, but this morning I was off to see Muir Woods. It’s less than an hour from San Francisco and the drive to the park is up a very windy steep road.  The park is where you can see giant redwood trees - not the ginormous ones that you see in Sequoia National Park. Still very impressive, it’s a stunningly beautiful, quiet and calm hike through these giants.

I had the option of returning to San Francisco on the bus or taking a ferry from Sausalito. I chose the ferry so the bus dropped me at the wharf on its’ way back. I had an hour to wait for the ferry, so I sat and soaked up the sun. The weather was perfect, and the ferry ride gave me views of Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, downtown San Francisco and the surrounding hills. I was so thrilled that I had chosen to take the ferry back – it definitely beat sitting on a coach for another hour!

Alcatraz Island

San Francisco has always been one of my favorite cities and this trip just added to the magic!

More photos can be found at this link

https://plus.google.com/photos/102840684536112573599/albums/6114639639611586129?authkey=CIPX4MWXver5owE