Experience the wonder of Christmas through common courtesy

How many times have you been leaving a store or restaurant and hold the door for people coming in or leaving behind you only for them to walk through the door without acknowledging that you are even there, let alone noticing that you’ve held the door open for them. Where has this attitude of entitlement and lack of common courtesy come from? Even though this happens on a regular basis, I’m still amazed that these individuals weren’t given a better lesson as they were growing up. I know that I’m old-fashioned and grew up in an era when respect and honoring another individual was very important but have things changed so much that people today can’t utter a simple “thank you”?

Having just spent two weeks in Japan where courtesy is highly important, I’m now finding it difficult to tolerate these self-absorbed, read – rude and arrogant people as they breeze through doors. The Japanese culture is filled with so many ingrained habits including things such as an enthusiastic greeting from the store clerks as you enter a shop, bowing in a correct way, speaking to someone in an appropriate manner and the removal of your shoes when entering a room is so that visitors quickly get used to these courtesies. Japanese students learn at a very early age that a lazy greeting is regarded with disdain. So is simply walking off without saying anything. When parting, instead of saying goodbye, it’s common for the Japanese to make a wish to meet again.

As the franticness of the holiday season escalates, can we try and remain outside our own heads and be aware of other people within our close proximity and treat others, as we would like to be treated? This means that we don’t have our phones glued to our ear or that we are so busy texting that we don’t realize that there are others around us. Imagine making a sales clerk’s day a little bit more pleasant by making a point of thanking them while looking them in the eye and if they are wearing a nametag, include their name in the thank you. And while you are at it, try looking your family members in the eye as you speak to them too. A simple please and thank you to those whom you love the most might make their day too. It doesn’t take a lot of effort or time but it will help make their day a happier one. Try it – you’ll probably see a smile that might not have been there before.

See how many people you can thank this week and let me know if it’s made your week a happier one.

“A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.”
Richard Dehmel Poet, Playwright (1863-1920)

Sushi, Sake and Sumos

I’ve just returned from a “magical” two weeks visiting several cities in southern Japan – a gift that my husband and I gave ourselves to celebrate our 20^th wedding anniversary.  When emailing one of my friends, she asked what I meant by magical.  It’s really the only way that I can describe the whole trip because absolutely everything was beautiful and planned to perfection thanks to a group called Samurai Tours, http://www.samuraitours.com/. We seldom book on tours because we prefer to do our own thing but when there is a big language challenge, tons of sites to visit and culture to absorb, we prefer to leave the arrangements to local professionals. Our guides provided us with the perfect Japanese experience.

As soon as you arrive in Japan, you quickly notice that it’s a land of stark contrasts between the old and the new.  It is a beautiful and amazing country that is filled with polite people and contrasting sites of modern high-rise buildings alongside hundreds-year old temples and shrines, some with raked gardens. This contrast can also be seen as people stop by a shrine to quickly pray before running off to the trains where they use their cell phones to text (talking on them isn’t allowed) while riding to work or school. Everywhere you turn there is beauty and attention to design and detail – even things such as bento boxes.  This you’d expect because of their exquisite display of food at every meal – but manhole covers?  These were often decorated artistically and with symbolism. Japan is pristinely clean everywhere you go which is quite amazing considering the number of people who live in Japan and are constantly moving around. What was also amazing was the scarcity of garbage cans.  We found it almost impossible to throw away a water bottle or bag that had contained lunch or snacks – and if we did find the bins, we had to figure out how to recycle our items.  We once had a woman take a garbage bag from one of the couples on the tour so that she could take it home to throw it away. We loved the fact that people are not allowed to talk on their cell (mobile) phones on the subways and trains.  Although we had many very tightly packed rides, there was not one obnoxious person letting us in on his/her side of a phone conversation. In many cities, you see raised/patterned yellow pavement paths that are used as guidelines for blind people.

We noticed that there seemed to be vending machines every couple of blocks and they were more than plentiful in the train stations. So no matter where you go you can buy all kinds of drinks such as sodas, energy drinks and coffee shots as well as snacks and cigarettes. You can even buy beer from a vending machine.

One of the things that brought our group a lot of laughs, were the very technical toilets complete with heated seats, bidets and even a button that provides music. 

The only word that keeps coming to mind when I think of our trip to Japan is magical – in so many ways.  The attention to detail provided by the tour guides and their company, the cleanliness and orderliness of the Japanese day-to-day existence, the respect that is shown to everyone – regardless of their “status”, their strict adherence to time and schedules, the pride in who they are as a people! This means that they respect themselves enough to dress properly and act appropriately regardless of their station.  There are so many lessons to learn from these very extraordinary people!!

If anyone is interested in taking a breathtaking trip, literally because most days we walked several miles, I can’t recommend Samurai Tours highly enough.  And if you want a truly Japanese experience definitely stay in the ryokans (traditional Japanese inns where you sleep on futons on tatami mats and have shared baths).